I woke up this morning and the first thing that came to mind was a memory of my childhood. For the first time in a long time it was actually a pleasant one. That's how I know God is working in my life because day by day, the bad memories aren't so overwhelming though they will never completely leave me. Something so traumatic isn't just washed away but God can help ease the pain. Back to my memory though...As soon as my eyes opened I thought of grapefruit. When I thought of grapefruit it reminded me of the Saturday and Sunday mornings that my MawMaw and Papa Carswell use to keep us while my Mom and Step Dad were working 12 hours shifts. Then all of these other happy memories came flooding back. MawMaw using the powdered chocolate Yoohoo and I just loved the little powder chunks that floated to the top of the milk because it didn't dissolve. I remember my Papa made the BEST scrambled eggs and MawMaw always kept chocolate Raisinets that I would sneak into the kitchen to get. Every weekend my sister and I would go to their house, which was next door, and turn on the Saturday cartoons and fall asleep on the floor. Some mornings MawMaw would let us sleep. Others she would argue that it was a beautiful day and we needed to get outside and play. She would then lock the screen door so that we wouldn't run in and out. There is a train that runs behind their house and at that time you could see it coming. That was before they planted all the trees to hide Vickers Junkyard behind their house. When the train would come, I always covered my eyes because I was terrified it was gonna "get me" LOL. I would run to the swing set, lay face down on the slide, and cover my ears till it was gone. I was about 6 or 7 so I thought it was a huge monster. Then I remembered every Saturday MawMaw had to go to Hamricks because she would not wear the same blouse and skirt to church on Sunday. My sister and I would run and hide under the clothing racks and wonder the store. Back then you could do that and not worry about someone carting you out of the store and ending up all over the news as an abducted child. Occasionally MawMaw and Papa would get us something like shoes or a shirt. On Sundays, I remember the smell of MawMaw's Cherry Almond Jergens lotion and she would walk around in her panty hose and slip trying to get everyone ready for church. Once at church, we always had saltine or graham crackers as a snack in Sunday school. Then we went to preaching and MawMaw always gave us a stick of spearmint gum. We were forbidden to make even the slightest peep or we knew MawMaw would hold to her promise of a good hickory whipping.
MawMaw and me on my wedding Day
Papa about 8 weeks before he passed away.
My Papa walked me down the aisle on my wedding day. One of the happiest days of my life. :)
I use to keep a nice little tan when I was a child because during the Summer. I was always outside after school. MawMaw always kept us till Mama got off of work. My sister, Amanda and myself would make mud pies and mud spaghetti. We would use walnuts as the meatballs. On certain days when I would get in trouble, there was an apple tree in the backyard that I would climb in hopes that my Papa or MawMaw would forget I did something wrong and I wouldn't get the hickory. It never worked though. As soon as I thought I was in the clear, I would around the house and one of them would be waiting for me. Now some would say that isn't a pleasant memory, but to me I would give anything to do it all over again just to see my Papa. He passed away on 7/22/05 and I miss him very much but as much as I miss him, I am happy that he is no longer here to suffer. I know for a fact that he is with our heavenly father because he was a very devoted Christian. I can't wait to see him again in heaven someday. I have so many more memories but if I continue, this will be a novel rather than a blog. I hope you enjoy the memories as much as I enjoyed making them and remembering them. Though I had some pretty traumatic things happen as a child, I have plenty more that make me happy to think about. To be honest, when I started my trip down memory lane this morning, I was afraid of where it would take me but the entire time, my thoughts were nothing but pure and I have God to think for that. I believe in someways, I am beginning to train myself to direct my thoughts to something else when the bad starts to enter my mind. It makes it much easier to get through a day without trying to 'shake it out' of my head. With God, all things are possible. For anyone that didn't think that I had God and gave it to God when I had my breakdown, you don't know that. I've said it before and I still believe that God had me go through it for a reason. To finally deal with my pain and react to my pain and bring me closer to him. I am far from a perfect devoted Christian but everyone falls short and is also far from perfect. I can only hope to be as close to God as my Papa. The day before he passed was the most alert he had been and he was yelling "AMEN!" as my cousin read verses from the Bible. My Papa was ready to go because he knew where he was going. So even up till the hour of his death, I have the greatest memories of him and his dedication and love for Christ.
