No more social networking

I have been Facebook free for a month now and I have to say, it is GREAT! I am nowhere near as stressed and since my husband and I have decided to work on our marriage, we both decided Facebook is a BIG problem. It's amazing the free time I have now that I don't consume it with social networking. With that said, I'm done blogging and getting back to what is important...Family, Life, and Love. 

God give me the strength

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”  

There are so many that would absolutely love to see me fall flat on my face but I'm here to prove to GOD, not anyone else that I am strong and can get through anything...because of him. In the end, he is the only one that I will answer to for mistakes I've made and it is him that has wiped my slate clean because only he can. I don't need anyone else approval or forgiveness.

Memories Past

I woke up this morning and the first thing that came to mind was a memory of my childhood. For the first time in a long time it was actually a pleasant one. That's how I know God is working in my life because day by day, the bad memories aren't so overwhelming though they will never completely leave me. Something so traumatic isn't just washed away but God can help ease the pain. Back to my memory though...As soon as my eyes opened I thought of grapefruit. When I thought of grapefruit it reminded me of the Saturday and Sunday mornings that my MawMaw and Papa Carswell use to keep us while my Mom and Step Dad were working 12 hours shifts. Then all of these other happy memories came flooding back. MawMaw using the powdered chocolate Yoohoo and I just loved the little powder chunks that floated to the top of the milk because it didn't dissolve. I remember my Papa made the BEST scrambled eggs and MawMaw always kept chocolate Raisinets that I would sneak into the kitchen to get. Every weekend my sister and I would go to their house, which was next door, and turn on the Saturday cartoons and fall asleep on the floor. Some mornings MawMaw would let us sleep. Others she would argue that it was a beautiful day and we needed to get outside and play. She would then lock the screen door so that we wouldn't run in and out. There is a train that runs behind their house and at that time you could see it coming. That was before they planted all the trees to hide Vickers Junkyard behind their house. When the train would come, I always covered my eyes because I was terrified it was gonna "get me" LOL. I would run to the swing set, lay face down on the slide, and cover my ears till it was gone. I was about 6 or 7 so I thought it was a huge monster. Then I remembered every Saturday MawMaw had to go to Hamricks because she would not wear the same blouse and skirt to church on Sunday. My sister and I would run and hide under the clothing racks and wonder the store. Back then you could do that and not worry about someone carting you out of the store and ending up all over the news as an abducted child. Occasionally MawMaw and Papa would get us something like shoes or a shirt. On Sundays, I remember the smell of MawMaw's Cherry Almond Jergens lotion and she would walk around in her panty hose and slip trying to get everyone ready for church. Once at church, we always had saltine or graham crackers as a snack in Sunday school. Then we went to preaching and MawMaw always gave us a stick of spearmint gum. We were forbidden to make even the slightest peep or we knew MawMaw would hold to her promise of a good hickory whipping.

                                                     MawMaw and me on my wedding Day

                                         Papa about 8 weeks before he passed away.

       My Papa walked me down the aisle on my wedding day. One of the happiest days of my life. :)

I use to keep a nice little tan when I was a child because during the Summer. I was always outside after school. MawMaw always kept us till Mama got off of work. My sister, Amanda and myself would make mud pies and mud spaghetti. We would use walnuts as the meatballs. On certain days when I would get in trouble, there was an apple tree in the backyard that I would climb in hopes that my Papa or MawMaw would forget I did something wrong and I wouldn't get the hickory. It never worked though. As soon as I thought I was in the clear, I would around the house and one of them would be waiting for me. Now some would say that isn't a pleasant memory, but to me I would give anything to do it all over again just to see my Papa. He passed away on 7/22/05 and I miss him very much but as much as I miss him, I am happy that he is no longer here to suffer. I know for a fact that he is with our heavenly father because he was a very devoted Christian. I can't wait to see him again in heaven someday. I have so many more memories but if I continue, this will be a novel rather than a blog. I hope you enjoy the memories as much as I enjoyed making them and remembering them. Though I had some pretty traumatic things happen as a child, I have plenty more that make me happy to think about. To be honest, when I started my trip down memory lane this morning, I was afraid of where it would take me but the entire time, my thoughts were nothing but pure and I have God to think for that. I believe in someways, I am beginning to train myself to direct my thoughts to something else when the bad starts to enter my mind. It makes it much easier to get through a day without trying to 'shake it out' of my head. With God, all things are possible. For anyone that didn't think that I had God and gave it to God when I had my breakdown, you don't know that. I've said it before and I still believe that God had me go through it for a reason. To finally deal with my pain and react to my pain and bring me closer to him. I am far from a perfect devoted Christian but everyone falls short and is also far from perfect. I can only hope to be as close to God as my Papa. The day before he passed was the most alert he had been and he was yelling "AMEN!" as my cousin read verses from the Bible. My Papa was ready to go because he knew where he was going. So even up till the hour of his death, I have the greatest memories of him and his dedication and love for Christ.

The ugly truth about CNAs

I have been a CNA (certified nursing assistant) since 2006. I was taught at Isothermal Community College in Polk County NC. My instructor, like all CNA instructors, taught by a very strict state guideline and if you wanted to pass your final, you followed those guidelines. They are guidelines I believe need to be honored if you are going to care for someones loved one. I know it's the ones I would expect to be used if caring for my Mom or Dad, Grandparents, or other family member I love.The cold hard truth is it's a whole different ballgame when you actually start working as one. Everything you learned to be certified goes right out the window. After working in several care facilities, I have come to realize that no one should ever put a loved one in a nursing home...PERIOD! Why you ask? They DO NOT get the care that you are paying for and expect. Plain and simple. How many times a week do you take a shower? I know I take one everyday, sometimes twice a day. Not in any resident care facility. Twice a week is all they get and sometimes not even that. If they are short staffed, maybe one day and can you imagine if they're short staffed on both days that your loved one is supposed to be showered? They're stinking pretty bad because I don't care that they require you give a bed bath everyday, it's just not the same. Oh, and bed baths, well, that's half assed too if they're short. It's face, pits, and private areas only, throw clothes on, comb hair, and throw them in a wheelchair or whatever they sit in. The majority of the time, mouth care is the furthest from grooming in any minds there. Why? Because the nurses that don't feel like it is in their job title to help where it's needed, want those residents out of bed by 11 a.m. Psht! Get your ass up and try it! Get 11 people bathed/showered, clothed, groomed, and up by 11 a.m.? Ha! All the while you have call bells going off, people trying to get up by themselves that shouldn't, feed meals to those that can't feed themselves, and other speed bumps along the way. To beat it all though is they expect this out of people that have had only a few days of training, are not familiar with the residents and their needs, and more than likely DO NOT know how to use the lifts that are required to be used on certain residents because they are total lift (meaning they cannot physically do anything and are dead weight so it takes a lift to get them up). I worked in an assisted living facility for 3 years and in my opinion, if it is possible for your loved one to go into assisted living, not a nursing home with an "assisted" wing, then try your best to put them there. I will never work in a nursing home again as long as I live. I have only met a few LPN/RNs that actually don't act like they're so above you that they can't get in there and get their hands dirty (I commend those that have and truly appreciate them, though they are few and far between). Most are too busy barking about what you haven't done than understanding that the CNA just spent an hour busting their butt to get what they just did, done. That after they cleaned up the resident they're working with, that same resident messed again and ruined the fresh clothes you just put on them, or they urinated or shit on the floor. No, we don't get mad because it's our job but when you have the highers up coming behind you grilling you and making you feel worthless because you "haven't" got something done, it makes you angry. Not at the resident but the nerve an RN/LPN has when they don't know or see firsthand the turmoil you've been through. Can a CNA get up 11 or more residents by 11 a.m. daily? Sure...as long as you don't care that your loved one isn't getting the care they need. Honestly, if it were my family member and I knew what I know, I would sue the pants off of every care facility I've worked in because I know the level of care they're getting, and it's not what they should! As for the one assisted living community that I worked for, I have no negative things to say about the level of care they provided to the residents there. I hold the highest regards to the staff there for the service they give to those sweet elderly people. I guess that's why I lasted there as long as I did before I left to pursue photography. If not for doctor's orders to resign from being a CNA, I don't know how much longer I would have lasted at my last job. I cannot fathom those helpless people not getting the care they are entitled to. I did not become a CNA to do a half ass job and to have any less expected of me is an insult to my certification and knowledge! I honestly do not know how half of these homes pass their state evaluation. I guess once a year isn't too much to ask that a CNA does the job right...After that, it's business as usual. I'm sorry to anyone that this offends but one thing I try to be is honest and this is me being me. It's my opinion...Like it or not, it's the hard truth about how CNAs are under appreciated and paid way less than they should be. CNAs are the hub of any home and should be honored and paid more than anyone in nursing! Especially if they're going to be treated like they can be replaced so easily. If a CNA is okay with halfway doing their job, then their heart is not in the right place. All they care about is a paycheck or making the nurses happy. I choose to be one that cares enough to do it right...therefore I just assume not be one at all if I can't care for a person the way they deserve to be cared for. Simple as that.

Pranks=Love :)

Last night I was laying in bed and I was laughing a LOT. Chris I'm sure thought that it was because of  'Married with Children' but it wasn't. I had just come up with another prank. Unfortunately I fell asleep before following through with it. Chris and I, over the past several months, have been pranking each other. My favorite prank...While he's in the shower, I flip on the cold water real quick and he screams like a girl. I did that to him twice. He payed me back though. A few days later he threw a whole cup of cold water on me while I was in the tub. Not all at one time either. He did it in increments. I was laughing and screaming at the same time. The other day Chris came home from work and he had a smiley face sharpied on his leg by a customer he delivers to. This gave me an idea. Now, I won't be using a sharpie because the place I'm thinking of drawing is on his face...If anyone has ever heard me talk about Chris sleeping, you know that he will not even know that I touched his face. Just the thought of him waking up and looking in the mirror to my 'artwork' on his face had me about to laugh so hard I could have pee'd myself last night. Chris is a very hard sleeper. We bought him a new alarm clock because he NEVER heard the other and poor pitiful me...well, I heard it EVERY time. I was ready to kill him lol. He always laughs when I talk about the alarm clock and how many times he cuts it off. He is already snoring again before his hand even hits the snooze button (if he even stopped snoring). Then he always wonders how his cellphone ended up under his pillow or under the bed. Well, because he would pick it up and put it there. Sometimes he would push it so far under his pillow that it would fall down behind the bed. He doesn't remember doing any of it so it's really funny to tell the story just to hear his laughter and denial. Anyways...I just wanted to share because some relationships don't have the laughter and fun that Chris and I have. We have our days just like every marriage does, but at the end of each day we still love each other and that's what matters. We keep it alive by playing practical jokes. It makes it fun. I hope I have inspired some of you ladies to do the same. Since Chris and I have started pranking each other, we laugh a lot more (not only at each other). LOL. I hope everyone has a nice day and if you're looking for something to bring the laughter back to your relationship, try it. :-)